Time to Catch Up.

Blogging every day , every week or even every month is probably my weakest point because I either get to busy to tired or to lazy.  I believe that everyone gets to that point.  In this post I just want to update what has been going on for the last little bit.
When I left off Jon was working on his advance E.M.T he passed with flying colors.  He was able to get a job over at the hospital as an E.M.T. and then over in Burley as a C.N.A. all of this on top of being a firefighter.  The house that we were living in we finally had enough of not being able to take a shower and the landlord not doing a thing about it we were able to move out and in with my grandfather.  About two weeks after we moved out I had an accident falling down a couple of stairs and landing on the concrete.  Jon had just come home after a long shift so I was very grateful to have him there to know what to do.  He ended up calling for an ambulance so I got to take my very first ambulance ride.  I get there and they take me in for X-Rays and CT scans and they wheeled me to my room.  I was given a blessing by Jon and my father in law and in that blessing it states that everything will be alright but it will take some time to heal.  The doctor came back and cleared me that I could go home and that nothing was broken and I didn't have a concussion.  He put me in a neck brace for some comfort.  Even though the doctor said I didn't have a head concussion I was having problems like forgetting what I was doing or who I was talking to.  The headaches were really bad I had to be in the dark, my balance was off and ended up having vertigo.  Two months after the accident I was able to go to camp as one of the leaders and I had Vertigo really bad that it made me really sick but when I came home I thought that resting would help but I felt really sick and Jon wasn't feeling great either and so one night we were both throwing up but he eventually got better but I didn't and I couldn't keep anything down.  The day before my sister told me to take a pregnancy test because I was probably pregnant I really didn't want to but I did out of spite and the test showed up positive.  I didn't wait to tell Jon i rushed in and woke him up to tell him that we are pregnant.  He was so excited and is still very excited.

When we pray we sometimes expect to have answers right away but Heavenly Father has his own time and things have to work out before he can answer those prayers.  He really has been testing us on our faith.  We didn't know what we were going to do about the house and he gave us the option to move into my grandfathers place, we have prayed for children but knew it probably wasn't going to happen so we were looking into adoption but we felt like that wasn't the right thing to do at the moment and then we find out that we are pregnant.  We needed to find a place to to call ours and he gave us this amazing opportunity to move just three houses down from my grandfather so I can keep tabs on him.  God works in mysterious ways, and just having a little bit of faith in him you can move mountains.   

Things are Moving Fast!

Things have been moving so fast in the last couple of weeks that I have felt like that there is not enough hours in the day.  so here is the run down of what has been going on.  Jon has been going to school for his Advance EMT and his Firefighter 1 and CNA.  Yesterday Jon and I went to Twin falls for him to go take his written test for his Advance EMT and he was really nervous.  Before he took the test he was worried that he did not know what medication to give in an IV and so he studied so hard on that and when it came time to test he said there was only like two questions on that topic, and the rest he was not even sure what they were talking about, however there were tons of questions that he knew what they were talking about so he new the answers.  He did not know if he passed last night or not and kept checking online and nothing so this morning while I was at work he messaged me saying that he passed his test.  One test done several more to go. while we were coming home we were talking about how we want to live out in the middle of nowhere and somehow we started  talking about the Kimama Butte and how there is nothing left of this old mining town, and how I have never been out there, and so we got off the freeway and Jon surprised me by going out there and what a sight.  There is hardly anything left out there just some old foundations of some of the buildings and the old water tower.

We then went out to the butte itself and found a couple of ground caves, that Jon went exploring into.  I'm too much of a chicken to do that unless I am more prepared than what I was then.  we decided that we want to go back out there and take four wheeler up there because there were places that our little car could not get into.  

This left us very busy and very tired yesterday and wanting a shower but having a shower that wont drain the water is very frustrating so Jon took me to his parents place and he went to class so I got to help my father in law with farm chores and got to ride in the back of the truck and that was fun and made dinner and got to see one of the new calves that were born earlier that day, then several hands of the card game GOLF.  Then home we went to a beautiful night.  It was a long day but it was enjoyable and made some amazing memories with Jon that we get to share with our future family or to share with you guys. 

Another thing that I almost forgot to mention.  When I was in Idaho Falls for Time out for Women I got to see City of Enoch and fell in love with the band and so I ordered there new CD but was really sad that they did not have it out when I was down there so they going to ship it out to me and when Jon and I came home last night I checked the mail and there was a package for me and I was jumping up and down with excitement to find that I finally got my CD.

 I took it to work with me and I have been listening to it and I have a deeper understanding of Christ and his love for me.  I believe that everybody needs this CD in their life and I am hoping that they will come out with another CD because this is fabulous. 

Netflix-Where Good Intentions go to Die.

I am one of those people who works 8 hours a day comes home puts on sweat pants have the intentions to wash dishes, do laundry, or straighten up the house; and then I see the T.v. and then I lay down turn on that T.v. and watch Netflix, knowing full well that it looks like W.W. 3 has erupted in my house. I have hope and dreams of cleaning and then Netflix

I think if we set aside a certain amount of time to clean and watch Netflix I believe things will be better.  For Jon and I we have been doing a load of laundry washing a batch of dishes and straighten up the house watch an hour of Netflix usually Grey's Anatomy for about an hour, scripture and prayer and then we talk till we both are asleep.  For us this helps break the cycle of binge watching several hours of Netflix or Xbox.  

Idaho weather has very interesting the last couple of months but I believe that spring is finally here and I have been looking around when I am driving and I am like when did they put in that bench or when did they add in this store or when did this house burn to the ground.  I have become so absent minded due to spending too much time with my phone, watching Netflix, 

Heavenly father put us here on earth to take care of it and to not be idle, (this means being lazy).  I don't like being lazy because when I am moving around doing stuff it is so much harder because I am not active like I should be and I feel very fat and sluggish, even though I am only 120 pounds and 5 foot 5.  I hate this feeling!  That is why people fail to work out because they have been cherishing the good life of Netflix Cheetos,soda, and bonbons, and when they work out they can't breath their muscils are soar and they are like this is not worth it.  

Since Jon is a fire fighter he has be active in order to be able to carry people from a building on fire, and he has been going to these training and when he gets home he is drenched in sweat, and then for weeks he wants to work out because he feels weak, and then he works out and it gets to hard, he is soar for days, he is cranky because he hurts but wants to work out, because he hurts he wants to lay down and then he sees the t.v. and then he turns it on turns on Netflix and then bing watches what ever show he wants to watch.  

This is what the cycle looks like:

I am not against Netflix when you are done with doing stuff with your family, church, work, etc.  It is a great way to relax and enjoy your favorite show, but we need some self control as to how much we watch or play.  

Anxiety... It is a Big Deal

Have you ever blown up a balloon and you feel like hey that that is good enough and then somebody tells you need to fill it up some more.  You fill it up knowing that if you blow it up some more that balloon is going to burst, so you prepare for that scare that you are going to get when it does burst the fear rises and then the person tells you to stop you feel relief and then they tell you to blow it up some more so the the fear jumps and rises and then it burst.

This is how anxiety feels.  You can feel fearful , sad ,lonely, hateful.  You will probably cry, you might even lash out at everyone and everything that you care about.  You can take medication for it but it can make it worse or make you sleepy and when you fall asleep the anxiety will still be there when you wake up.

  

I deal with anxiety, I have my whole life.  Anxiety of failing a test, anxiety of losing my parents, anxiety of not being good enough, anxiety of not being able to understand things. I use to take medication for my depression because my anxiety got so bad that I ended thinking it would all go away if I just end it all.  Then one night something tragic happened to my family, and I thought to myself what type of roll model am I setting for my sisters.  I don't want them to see what I have to go through and think oh well if she can do that then why can't I do that?
I started to meditate but that didn't help much, I went to counseling, yeah it helped with some of the issues I have but it did not stop all the other anxiety that I felt that would come out of the blue.  What did help was music and doing something with my hands.  I play the piano, I crochet, I am constantly doing something with my hands even if it is just twirling my thumbs.  I started to blog to help with my grief but I have found that it helps with my anxiety.  
There are so many people out there who are diagnosed every day with anxiety that they will shrug it off and think "Oh I can manage that with just a nap or it does not exist"  It does exist, it is scary, and it is very hard to manage, but with will power, the right influence you can over come your anxiety.
We cam on this earth knowing the hardship we would face but I believe we didn't know the feeling of these hardships, but I also believe that not knowing the feeling of the hardships, we would not turn to our Heavenly father and ask for his help.  If we just ask for his help we can become stronger in him and in faith

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It is Always Negative

Before Jon and I were married we talked about starting a family and how many children we want. When we did get married I was deep down hoping for a honeymoon baby but alas the test was negative and for months I would take a test hoping for that second little line but that has never been the case, it is always negative.  With the two pregnancy's that I did not know about, I did not even take a test.

Jon has told me over and over that my worth as a women is not based on being able to have children or to be an excellent homemaker.  My worth is that Heavenly Father created me, that he loves me for who I am.  My worth is the love that I have for others that he has shown me.  To have Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, choice and accountability, Good works, Integrity and Virtue.  This is the Young Women Theme.

Women and young women today have very little confidence in themselves and they don't believe that their worth is nothing, I believe that if they had these values in their life that things would be so much better for them to give them the chance in life to do better than what the world is telling them.  The world is telling them that you are no good because you don't look like this or that, or that you are not good enough, or that if your not a parent then you are useless or if you do have children that you shouldn't be because you need to work to make this world better.  for what I have to say to all of this NO you stop listening to the world, and you do what makes you happy, for heavenly father create you to come to this world and to be happy.  

Psalms 37:4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you desires of your heart.  

#myl.d.s.lifeaftergettingmarried

#BEHAPPY

#Youngwomentheme

#Justbeyou

My Weekend at Time Out For Women in Idaho Falls, Idaho

This weekend has been a very spiritual weekend as I was given the opportunity to go to Time Out For Women in Idaho Falls.  For those of you who have never gone, I would encourage you to go as it is the best thing ever for women to just sit back enjoy music and a spiritually uplifting message.

Here is the crew that was able to go to Time Out For women with me.  The lady clear in the back photo bombed us but she is pretty cool.  In our group we ha two sets of Stephanies and the lady made three Stephanies' 

Friday night we were given the opportunity to hear from City Of Enoch, a band that their CD will be released in April of 2017.  The introduced the speakers for that night.  There was John Bytheway, Tamu Smith and Zandra Vranes.  We first listened to John Bytheway.  He is a spiritual comedian, with a spiritual message.  He first gave us an analogy of when you go into a jewelry store how all the diamonds are on a black background to give off the illusion that they will shine brighter.  

In a dark world of sin and turmoil, we need to shine and stand strong in the gospel.  To be a better example to those around us.  A quote he said," When moral is so dark and we don't follow the world, we will shine against the dark morals."  So what can we do to shine?  We need to step it up.  Women need a time out.  when we are in Time out we need to stop, take a breath, get some instruction, and we need to do better.
when he was done City of Enoch came on the stage and sang Trust In You with the message of;  When we feel like our prayers are not being answered Heavenly Father knows us by letting us try and eventually he has answered them.  (The Link is not them singing as the CD is not out yet but this is the original artist)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv-SXz_exKE

They had us close our eyes and imagine what our heavenly thinks when we are praying to our savior as they sing He Hears Me.  This is what I wrote down.  Heavenly Father knows when my heart is breaking from the sorrows of the trials that I have accepted in the pre-existence that has my faith shaken and the tears won't stop and I feel like there is no hope He Hears Me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9to-HWK1Ms

Saturday as we had left to go back home we had all decided to go see the movie the Shack that had come out the night before.  it is not an LDS movie but the author of the movie is an LDS writer. I would encourage everybody to go see it if you are having a hard time finding Heavenly Father in your life and when you feel like he is not ever there.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CL0yUbSS5Eg

Christ Lives, I know it I believe it.  He has a plan for us and we will never know that plan in this lifetime but he does not do random.  If we just pray and ponder what he would want us to do he will answer us.  He loves us.

Time Out For Women 2017

So I am very excited for this weekend because I have been given the opportunity to go to Time Out For Women!!!  Two years ago I was given the opportunity to go for my very first time, and I didn't know what to expect going, but I do not regret a thing.  Friday night I got to listen to Mercy River Perform and those three girls are so amazing.  They had us up on our feet enjoying ourselves. For the spirit that I felt when I had listened to them sing I knew that I wanted to (and I have) listen to them all day long, so I purchased their CD that they were selling.   It made me so excited for Saturday and Saturday was just as much as exciting as I have ever hoped for. there were so many great speakers but there was one that stood out to me and I wish I knew who the speaker was but her story went like this.  She had met her returned missionary and they got married and they were going to school at the time and right after they got married they ended up getting pregnant with her son, and shortly after that her and her husband both decided to wait a while to have children.  When they both agreed when they wanted to go for another child she had planned that by the end of that month she would plan on getting pregnant give birth during the summer break of school and then she can have time with her child however one month passed and then three months passed and then after a year of trying for a baby she finally became pregnant and her plan was back on schedule, and then three months latter she had lost that baby. Heavenly father is in charge of our plan we are not.  We can plan things but things sometimes don't go as planned.  I had planned a Christmas party for some friends and family and everything had gone to plan.  the house was cleaned the food was out, i had on my ugly Christmas Sweater and I was getting some dice for a game and I knew that there were some in a box of games and i was trying to balance myself with holding the box trying to get some dice and bam i drop the box and all the pieces had fallen onto the floor the couch everywhere.  yes it was just pieces but there was glass everywhere because it was my husbands game of Axis and Allies and if you all know how to play he included nuclear weapons and since there is no pieces like that he used broken light bulbs.  so there is glass everywhere, and the party was just about to start in the next five minutes.
Things happen no matter what you have planned for.  Heavenly father is in charge it might stink at first but we don't know the bigger picture and after a while knowing that one event that at the time was horrible there was a reason why.